Excessive anger could cost you your marriage, family, job, happiness or your life and is best addressed with Anger Counseling.Anger is a basic emotional response to fear or pain; anger is generally expressed as a secondary emotion in other words as a result of a reaction to some other event, that is not dealt with appropriately. People from an early age copy angry behaviour if they observe and then attach to their experience the behaviour as a way of acceptance within the group or as a way of being rewarded or obtaining satisfaction.
Civilized society has an uneasy relationship with anger. We are mainly taught that anger and aggression are not acceptable as a means of reaching goals. People who regularly display aggressive and angry behaviour may repress their feelings instead of expressing them appropriately. Anger can be a destructive force as well as being a key requirement for self preservation, the choice of when to apply anger productively and when not to, can at times be unclear. People need to understand how to learn and apply healthy and respectful use of anger in order to preserve productive relationships.
The experience of angers varies, the length, magnitude and intensity of anger is proportionate to the number of angry people, in other words there is no measurable standard of anger volatility. Some people are aware of anger build up, others are not, and those that feel the pressure may, if they choose, elect to impose restraint. Those who are not aware, may it seems, self propel directly into the explosion phase of anger development.
Some anger ‘experts’ suggest generally people get angry once a day and get annoyed about three times a day. Other ‘expert’ suggests anger at fifteen times a day may be a more realistic assessment. Regardless of how often we actually experience anger, it is a common and unavoidable, although controllable, emotion.
Pain itself is not sufficient to cause a blast off, what is also required in the mix is an anger triggering thought, unfortunately most of the time the triggering thoughts are negative and automatic, akin to the negative automatic thoughts that are well known in the anxiety feeding frenzy.
Angry people can usually justify their anger outbursts, unfortunately other people don’t necessarily agree. Some people utilise anger to prevent feelings of vulnerability and helplessness overcoming them and instead find that anger converts vulnerability into power and control, of course the feelings are short lived and after the downward spiral that always follows an anger explosion, the previous feelings, vulnerability and helplessness are compounded and magnified. Anger of course doesn’t make the pain go away, it only momentarily offers a distraction.
What are some of the symptoms of an anger problem?
- Explosive outbursts that cannot be controlled
- Domestic Violence and controlling behaviour
- Rages when driving or at work
- Depression or anxiety may indicate introverted anger
- Alcohol or drug dependence may cover an anger problem
- People tell you to “calm down” or “go cool off” or “lower your voice”
- You become angier when you can’t make yourself understood
- Friends or family members seem to be avoiding you
- You have feelings of uncontrolled rage
- People find you intimidating
- You think most people are wrong or stupid
- You feel no one is listening to you
- People say you’re moody
- You shout to make people pay attention to you
- You become physically violent with another person
- You received a poor performance review due to anger
- You break things when you’re angry
- You do things excessively risky or self-destructive
Anger Counseling is basically a collaborative effort between you and your counselor. Our goal is to provide an open, supportive, and confidential environment for you to address the issues that are concerning you. To schedule a free email consultation, simply contact us.
Who can benefit from Anger Management Counseling?
The goal of anger management is to reduce the feelings and arousal that anger creates. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can help people to manage their anger, other forms of counselling may help to explore the underlying issues. Knowing how to recognise and express anger in the correct way can help individuals reach their goals, solve problems and handle emergencies – and have their needs met.
Angry people generally become dependent on the use of anger as a preliminary means of expressing themselves; when they feel threatened. Inappropriate or uncontrolled anger is harmful for both targets of anger and the angry person as well. Inappropriate anger destroys relationships, makes it difficult to hold down a job, and takes a heavy toll on an angry persons physical and emotional health.
When to seek Anger Management Counseling
Anger Counseling is the process of using tools to learn how to calm down and diffuse the negative emotion of anger before it gets to a destructive level. So we need to learn to use anger positively, and manage it so that it is constructive and not destructive. Where situations are not immediately life-threatening, we need to calm down and evaluate the accuracy of our perceptions before, if necessary, channeling anger in a powerful but controlled way.
Everyone can benefit from Anger Counseling, but not everyone needs it. If you are already considering seeking therapy for yourself or someone else, you can contact us. If your anger is something that you can see is problematic, something that is not working for you in your life and you want to change it, then you can benefit from anger management. Perhaps there is a problem with a spouse, a child / parent relationship, or co-workers. Someone may have tried talking to you about seeking anger management before you began your research. Perhaps you have tried doing it on your own, maybe even taken some steps toward helping yourself – reading books or checking out web sites, but it has just not been enough. If you are looking to make a serious commitment to learn new skills that will positively impact your life forever, then you are ready to benefit from anger management therapy. We can promise if you commit yourself to the therapy just one hour a week, do the reading, and practice what you learn that you will soon develop the tools needed to restore the relationships that have been damaged and view life from a very different, significantly more adaptive position.